We Were Pregnant…

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Hello Youtube family,

I’m a little nervous about posting today’s video. I’m sorry it’s not the usual chirpy type of vlog. Originally, the footage wasn’t supposed to be up so early but life never goes the way we plan right?

It’s been a bit of an emotional week. Due to a missed period, I took a pregnancy test on 8th October to find out we were expecting again. Just to be sure, I sent Tim out to get more tests to be sure. Since he came back with a two-pack, I took another test and it came back positive again. With one spare, I took the other test the next day but it came back negative (note- it wasn’t morning urine). Confused- I sent the hubby to grab more. This time, he came back with a triple pack. The next test was a big fat positive. After the initial confusion, we realised we really wanted this baby and thought maybe this baby was truly meant to be.

At the same time, Tim and I didn’t want to think too much. It was very early so we knew anything could happen since 1 in 5 pregnancies end up in a miscarriage. However, it didn’t stop us from thinking of baby names and envisioning our life as a family of four.

During my photoshoot in London, I felt lightheaded and my stomach pains started to feel more intense. I thought maybe I was just over fatigued so didn’t want to worry myself too much. As I was waiting for my flight back home, I felt pressure in my lower region. I stumbled to the bathroom and realised I was bleeding. Rather than the dark brown spotting I had days ago, it was a brighter colour of red indicating fresh blood. The bleeding eventually stopped for a bit so I felt more assured but as I got out of the airplane, I felt the bleeding started to return. Since I was emotionally and physically tired from the long day, I went to to bed early with hopes that rest could maybe prevent the worse from happening. Around 6am, I woke up to more stomach pains and pressure as I went to use the bathroom, I finally accepted I was having a miscarriage.

I knew my body wasn’t in it’s best condition so in a lot of ways, I wonder if it could’ve been prevented. It’s been an emotional few days. I spent it doing some grieving and I feel a lot better now. Since I was less than 5 weeks along, I’m thankful the loss happened early. To those who have also experienced a loss, I am so so sorry and my heart is with you. Know that you are not alone. We can only try to understand that everything happens for a reason. I hope you can take comfort in your family and friends.

It made me thankful to know Isaac was born into the world safely with no complications. I know Tim and I are still young and we have more opportunities in the future to expand our family.

We were not ready for another baby and the pregnancy was definitely a shock but our early loss has made us realise that if we are blessed to get pregnant again in the future, we would be ready and happy for it.

Physically, my body doesn’t feel too bad. It just felt like I was having a very heavy period. Usually my flow finishes in 4-5 days but my womb completely cleared within 2 days. Still experiencing a little nausea and cramping but I’m getting lots of cuddles from the family. Chubbi and Domo make fantastic hot water bottles too.

Even though it was an early miscarriage, I think I was a more upset about it than I thought I would be. I wasn’t as excited as I was with my first pregnancy and it was because I was overwhelmed since I knew what to expect. Once I started to embrace the changes about to come our way, I was able to connect with my pregnancy with excitement. Unfortunately, by then- the pregnancy couldn’t progress.

Tim has reminded me that I could’ve been perfectly healthy and careful and yet sometimes, these things will just happen. We still feel incredibly blessed for our family already. We will leave it all to the Lord. He has been taking care of our family and we know everything happens for a reason. We know other people out there have had it way worse. Our situation is nothing in comparison. We are always going to be thankful ^_^

Love, the Bubz family xo

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Comments

Grace Cross says:

I feel like this was a boy, just a thought!

Rockin Sim says:

<3

Lucy Scott says:

as I saw this video and watched her cry, I really wanted to give her a hug

Jessica Feuerstein says:

You should have done a abortion if you didn't want the baby that early

Zaynab Husna says:

Bubz I really enjoy and love ur vlogs !! I really cried wen u cried , blv me , ur the best ! I am juz a teenager , but the thing is u inspire me and several souls in many ways ! I have many complications in my life but trust me bcuz of u… I face them , saying I CAN DO IT !! Thnx for being an amazing sis thruout these 1 – 2 years ( Yeah , I hv been watching ur vlogs since 1 or 2 years ).. Love u sis !

Narcissistic Unicorn says:

I feel like I've grown up with you, since I've been watching your videos since I was younger. This was a sad, but somewhat hopeful video. Your message at the end is that little glimmer of hope that we all hope to see in our darkest times. Good luck in the future <3

Limoena says:

Hi Lindy. I've been a subscriber for many years now.. you were pregnant with Isac when we got our first talk about maybe starting a family. It's been long since then :). A few months ago I saw this and it felt so unreal.. I was so sad for you. But than you got pregnant again and this time it seems a sticky one ;). I got pregnant 8 weeks ago and I felt so blessed.. So powerfull and I loved it from the moment it was just a second line on a stick.. It was so fun now to be pregnant around the time you are.. But today we've heard bad news.. it's heart stopped beating yesterday or this weekend..

I am rewatching this.. Now feeling the same pain you were. I hope everything really does happen for a reason.. I hope it was just too unhealthy and it was natures way to let us know.. We want tis so bad. We love each other so much and we are so ready to be a family..

I'm really happy for you and I will keep the strength to go on and try again. Just like you did Lindy :)

Thx to be this wonderfull woman that you are!

John's Mom says:

I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our John at 40 weeks gestation for no reason, back in September . I know the pain is awful. He was our first and I pray not our last. I pray the pain eases as time goes by. God has a plan

LawraPlayzTHAT _ says:

"Be yourself,Everyone else is taken" ❤️ BUBZBEAUTY

Ashley Ngienga says:

Omg I come back after many months, and I find out bubz is freak pregnant!!! I love life rn

A_Little_Me says:

Is it ok to fly this early in pregnancy? I think I heard a warning about it.

Lana Idalia says:

Let the Lord be with you and your sweet family, and hold your hand, always.  I love you and admire you endlessly. But no pressure ! — just relax, rest. Everything will be alright. xoxo (^_^)

Kitmit Boo says:

So sorry you had to go through this, my mother miscarried 12 times before she finally had me

Angie Hondacbr says:

Hi Bubz! I remember having watched this particular video a few months ago when you initially uploaded it, and I felt very saddened for your loss.

Now I came back to see it again, but for comfort because I just experienced an early miscarriage myself a couple weeks ago. Thank you for having been so transparent in sharing something so heartbreaking and personal, and in being true with your feelings. Hope you know how much comfort it brings me knowing that you went through this, thus I don't feel as alone, and knowing that now you are expecting again truly gives me hope!

Much love and keeping your sweet family in my thoughts and prayers <3 :)

Stacey Hunt says:

Me and my best friend became a couple after 6 years. Met in high school and we were inseparable ever since. And despite being 'safe' we fell pregnant. After 3 days, I was in a lot of pain and saw a doctor. I found out I had what was known as a Chemical Pregnancy. The doctor told me that 'The parts didn't fit'. That they don't know what causes it and that it just happens. The doctor also told me early pregnancy tests are bad because usually, people don't know without one. They put it down to a late and odd pregnancy and never realise what they lots. I'm so sorry you had to go through pain like that. Know it really was not at all your fault. Or his, as I have to remind my partner. My thoughts are with you and I hope this new pregnancy goes smoothly. <3

nicole nicole says:

Isaac looks just like tim

Grace arndt-stigall says:

I can't believe this was 3 months ago already. I'm so happy for you this time Lindy. Praying that this baby stays safe and sound. ❤❤❤❤

Elma Jaimes says:

I'm sorry for your loss

Stephanie Louise says:

My miscarriage was the most painful thing that ever happened to me. Physically, emotionally, mentally and most of all spiritually. It destroyed me and absolutely broke my heart(I was 8 weeks along). I felt as if God didn't care and that i done something for him to try and get revenge, for something i did. Over a year later, and it still hurts as much as it did the day it happened, a week after it happened, a month after it happened. But i've learnt and grown from it and my relationship with God is stronger than ever. Much Love bubz! (i'm a little behind but i'm catching up! ;]) xxx

Niallarx b says:

just watched her new video and came back to this. never cried so hard >.<

Miss.LaDyUggz F says:

I'm so sorry dor your loss…but everything happens for a reason…n know you have a bundle of joy on the way plus your little baby boy there supporting you

Carlita Miller says:

I watched this video a few months ago. I too had an early miscarriage last month, it was my first pregnancy. This has been so difficult for me, I just watched you latest video and I'm excited to see you are pregnant!! This gives me so much hope! I wish you and your family a lifetime of love and happiness.

PRT Productions says:

Guys, this now has a happy side.
A rainbow baby is on the way.

Idin Sohrab says:

Hearty congrats 2 u, I miscarried my 1st one last year would you recommend conception tablets to those who are ttc?

Katrina Lackhouse says:

sorry you had to go through this. love you bub

Madison Lyons says:

brings you a book to cheer you up
whacks you in the face with it
Your little boy is adorable (:

JustSaiyanSteve says:

Stay strong bubz!

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